ROAD TO NOWHERE

Songwriters: BYRNE, DAVID / WEYMOUTH, TINA / FRANTZ, CHRIS / HARRISON, JERRY

Talking Heads

Boldly Going Nowhere!

“What are you looking for”? “ Nothing in particular, if I do that, if I already know what I'm looking for, I won't see the things I'm not looking for”.

I identify myself as openminded, but that still implies a container that can only be opened so far. I open as far as I am able and unless I can escape the confines of my mind, I must stop. I think; What would it look like to have no opinion and no style that is my own? Could it be this attachment that my way is the only way is holding me back? To speak 'My Truth' is to speak my story. I know it's not the only story . But it's a pleasant story. And a worry story. A lack of trust story. A sincerely pretending story. It is my story yet I am becoming less inclined to stick to it.

What's beyond my story of Right and Wrong? Good and Bad? I'm hovering over myself, watching. This path is not a hobby, it's not a part time job. But what if I commit to giving up my story and fail to replace it? What if I replace it and can't get back from wherever it leads me? If I escape the confines of my mind, is this madness? I sit with these uncomfortable feelings. My eyes scatter over the truth of who I am. I'm so so tired and overwhelmed. And then I take a breathe, or have a good laugh. Good grief! My mind is so canny, filled with judgement and excuses hoping to keep me safe in my story even as my story melts into the mist.

“Imagine we are not just what we think we are. We are ALL THAT IS!”. 

 

There is something weird happening to me; the more serious and committed I am to to this spiritual journey, the more detached I am becoming. I'm tired of chopping myself up into bite sized understandable pieces. As the anxiety builds and I try to force myself through to the next level I feel like I'm going nowhere fast. And it's at that point I where accept where I am now; anxious, controlling, worried and going nowhere that I do connect to my inner self and live right here right now.

Cracked Pot Story

 Seemed like a relevant story:

"An  elderly Chinese  woman had two large pots, each hung on the ends  of a pole which  she carried across her  neck.  One of the pots had  a crack in it  while the other pot was perfect and always delivered  a full  portion of water. At the end of the long walks from  the  stream to the house, the cracked pot arrived only half   full..   For a full two years this went on daily, with the   woman bringing home only one and a half pots of water. Of   course, the perfect pot was proud of its   accomplishments.  But  the poor cracked pot  was ashamed of its own imperfection, and  miserable that it could  only do half of what it had been made to   do.
After   two years of what it perceived to be bitter failure, it spoke to   the woman one day by the stream. 'I  am ashamed of  myself, because this crack in my side causes water  to leak out  all the way back to your house.' The  old woman smiled,  'Did you notice that there are flowers on your  side of the path,  but not on the other pot's  side?' That's  because I have  always known about your flaw, so I planted flower  seeds on your  side of the path, and every day while we walk back,  you water  them.'  For  two years I  have been able to pick these beautiful flowers to  decorate the  table.  Without you  being  just the way you are, there would not be this beauty to  grace  the house.'  Each of us has our  own  unique flaw. But it's the cracks and flaws we each have that   make our lives together so very interesting and   rewarding. "

Reflecting what is!

Something to ponder!  How do we respond/react to what is reflected to us.  Someone says something about us, what we feel about what is said can be amazing opportunity to gain perspective on the character we use to interact with Life.  I find that I may feel good when nice things are said about me and may not feel good when "not nice" things are said.  Oh yes!  all about taking things personally, not a bad thing, but a way to get to know me better.  I find that the "not nice" is more often than not what I reject about me.  If you choose to explore this, do remember not to do so with a view to punishing yourself and making yourself feel bad about you.  I do believe we have turned a corner on this and we can view ourselves with tremendous compassion, "shining light" on darkness.

I believe also we are complex, not black and white, this or that.  Rather we are shades of all kinds of colours!  Imagine we are not just what we think we are.  We are ALL THAT IS!

ALL OF IT

‎"To try to avoid pain and to always seek pleasure will mean, much of the time, the non-acceptance of truth. It usually means the rejection of what is there. It means rejecting your experience. It means rejecting your consciousness. It means rejecting yourself. Now how is that going to lead to harmony and happiness? Sometimes your experience is painful. What are you going to do? It’s your experience. If you don’t want it, you have to throw it away. Then you throw away part of yourself. Well, how can you be happy if part of yourself is thrown away?" -A.H. Almaas

I would like to take this opportunity to continue the Beauty Chair.

I approve of your smoking.

I approve of your seeking comfort.

I approve of your eating more than enough.

I approve of your retreating to feel safe.

I approve of your longing for a partner.

I approve of your not participating.

I approve of your feeling of being overwhelmed.

I approve of your resistance to......._______.

I love ALL of you/me just the way I am in each moment.

The Mirror

I initially felt resistance in doing the Beauty Chair, it felt like work and I was telling my self that I was exhausted.
But I want to say VERY CLEARLY,  that I Love, Loved the Beauty Chair!!!! It felt like a very positive, excellent use of the state we were in. It felt like it strengthened what is Truth. Listening to everyone's outpouring of Love filled me with light.
I am enjoying looking at Everything as my reflection now.
At all times, there are opportunities presenting themselves for me to appreciate (and Approve of) my reflection.

MerryOnes!!!!

I love you all so much!! We are courageous, authentic, beautiful, adventurous, unique, fun, willing, eager, open, loving, determined.......

Take Aways from the Merry Ones

Retain the feeling of being nurtured and find new ways to nurture myself

Explore that "sense" of being held. Trust that I can take action and let go, knowing that I will be held

Do gazing in the mirror and explore the "not good enough story". Look to see what it wants to show  and where it takes me, and where it connects to. What is the root?

Savour that feeling of being vulnerable and open in a good way.

Stalk "disapproval" and look for ways I tune out and resist

Examine stories I am telling myself about moving out of my "spiritual" comfort level. Trust that I can find my way through new and unfamiliar territory.

Feathers Falling From the Sky

Trying to watch and observe each day  to see what comes up.. today a day of feathers! Everywhere I went, a feather would fall into my vision; walking to the store, a feather on my car, on the sidewalk, a photo - it seemed persistent throughout the day - was it the spirit world calling me? I tried to sit with the feather to see what message it might have - a  reminder to acknowledge the invisible world, to look past the "clock time" and to recognize the " silent language" that surrounds me at all time. It was me reminding me to stay present in full awareness - to acknowledge the presence of  spirit as part of my being and to "see" beyond the image of the feather. It was the air calling me; using breath to take flight..