Winer Solstice Fire

 

The element of fire teaches us about cleansing and action. Cleansing is an ongoing process and if you procrastinate cleaning say, your house, you’re in for an unpleasant surprise if you think it should still be clean from your last go round with the mop and vacuum. The same goes for these, unwanted beliefs that have been accumulating all these years. Beliefs like what I should be, could be, will become are still here. Same with the habits I postpone changing. I try to hide them away or even pull them out into the open thanks to my work with awareness, but they are not going anywhere unless I do the work to clean them up. Instead of taking the action when I first notice something I’d like to change, I set it aside to deal with later. I just continue with my old comfortable patterns. I don’t even bother ‘sincerely pretending’ to disengage from my unhealthy habits.  Recently, I found myself horrified at all my cruddy behavior. I find I keep resisting what I am becoming. I’ve been spending a lot of time preparing to change at some undefined later date instead of Just Doing It. Today, to honor the winter solstice, I’m letting go of one habit. Poof, goodbye. 

Great Hafez Quotes

"Now that all your worry  has proved such an unlucrative business, why not find a better job"                                              

 "Fear is the cheapest room in the house. I would like to see you living in better conditions."

“I wish I could show you when you are lonely or in darkness the astonishing light of your own being.”

 

"What we speak becomes the house we live in.”

 

“For a day, just for one day,
Talk about that which disturbs no one
And bring some peace into your
Beautiful eyes.”
― Hafez, The Subject Tonight Is Love: Sixty Wild and Sweet Poems of Hafiz

Xmas Shopping or Xmas Stalking?

Xmas season seems to trigger so much emotion and feeling, rooted in xmas traditions and family - what a fertile time for deep stalking!!! I see in certain social situations how my body and mind are often not in harmony. My body may be there, but  my mind is drifting away in resistance to the moment. I see how that resistence keeps me rooted in old assumptions and patterns about people.  If I can stay in the moment with full awareness, I could discover  new ways to respond to old situations, even accepting the uncomfortable feelings they can stir.  I  need to practise and practise, because I slip back into old ways so effortlessly.  My "xmas stalking breath" seemed to short circuit my avoidance,  and I felt a sense of peace, relaxation and gentle curiosity towards myself.  What seemed so serious moments ago, suddenely seemed so humorous!

The Power of Mother Nature...Life...

I forgot the pure powerful force of nature... of life.  Tonight while stalking with some of us in the group, I went in with so much clutter, confusion in my mind and of course with that same underlying anger that lingers with all my discomforts that arise within my day.  So I went in stalking...stalking everything I thought, perceived and felt....never thinking that it would have led me to where I went...

I then saw how I have forgotten about that wondrous power of life.  I saw that I am always perceiving, feeling, acting as if I am completely separate from all that is.  Separate from the earth, trees, air, wind, water...  It was brief, subtle yet so strong but I felt something  that seems I haven't felt for a long time... it now brings my awareness on how I am always coming from this complete feeling of being separate, how I perceive that I am separate.  A little door way I did not expect to see.

 

The power of Life reminds me... yes I stood tall but now I will fall.

 

As Always, Thank you to ALL of you for the precious space...

 

http://youtu.be/nATpNWlo-ak

 

Lyrics

Send a wish upon a star
Do the work and you'll go far
Send a wish upon a star
Make a map and there you are

Send a hope upon a wave
A dying wish before the grave
Send a hope upon a wave
For all the souls you failed to save

And you stood tall
Now you will fall
Don't break the spell
Of a life spent trying to do well
And you stood tall
Now you will fall
Don't break the spell
Of a life spent trying to do well

Send a question in the wind
It's hard to know where to begin
So send the question in the wind
And give an answer to a friend

Place your past into a book
Put in everything you ever took
Place your past into a book
Burn the pages let them cook

And you stood tall
Now you will fall
Don't break the spell
Of a life spent trying to do well
And you stood tall
Now you will fall
Don't break the spell
Of a life spent trying to do well

Send a wish upon a star
Send a wish upon a star

 

 

Hope you are still uncovering awarenesses from the weekend.  I find myself marveling at the unraveling of what  previously seemed veiled.  The term "sincere pretending"  so apt, describing how we perceive,and act from that perceiving. we sincerely believe that's how it is and what a blow to personality, the "who we think we are" when what is revealed is not what we want to see, what we are expecting.  

 

 And even this revelation that love is not personal, take your time to explore what that means for you.  remember not to believe me, you or anyone else.  In my experience love is in fact impersonal, and I choose in each moment, each relationship to make it personal, choosing with awareness. in so doing, love can interact with love without "personality" getting in the way.  This way, love is both impersonal and personal. 

 

And Swan medicine, reminding us of our beauty and grace, moving softly through life, being that way regardless of what we perceive, and when we find ourselves exactly the way we are, why not accept us just the way we are.  This, not so much a static exercise, in the sense of when I accept me as I am, I stay as I am, rather view this as an opportunity to transition to the next knowing, being you...

Our Inner Beauty

Swan's Wisdom Includes awakening the power of self, balance, grace, inner beauty, innocence, self-esteem, understanding dream symbols, seeing into the future, understanding spiritual, evolution, developing intuitive abilities, divination, grace in dealing with others and commitment.

Swan represents grace and beauty on many levels. It is associated with love, poetry and music. The swan was sacred to Venus, the love goddess in Roman mythology. The swan was often pictured singing to a lyre in Greek tradition. In Celtic tradition the Swan represents the Soul, our eternal essence.

The Swan is one of the most ancient and powerful power animals. The Irish bards were both poets and musicians, and wore cloaks made with swan feathers. Also in the Irish tale about the Children of Lir, who were turned into swans and sang so sweetly that all who heard them were put at ease and slept peacefully. These 2 examples along with other Celtic legends of the humans shape shifting into swans highlights the deepest meaning of Swan medicine.

The Ugly Duckling is a widely known children story, about an apparently ugly little duckling, who doesn't look like the others and is rejected and labelled a misfit, different. In the end all are surprised when he grows into being the most elegant of birds, the swan. This highlights the deceptive nature of first appearances and also reminds us that true beauty grows from within. The Swan teaches us that we all have inner grace and beauty, and this teaches us self-esteem. As we begin to realise our own true beauty, we reveal the ability to bridge new realms and new powers.

Swan will show one how to firmly rely on the beauty of ones being as it works in the physical and spiritual planes. One will be impelled to happy and grateful of and for the physical body and our intuitive mind.

Grace doesn’t mean only the ability to live a balanced life, it is also being able to be at home in many planes of reality, to see that we are more than we appear to be - we are both physical and spiritual beings. We are souls having a human experience.

Not only does the swan reveal to you your own inner beauty, but also that of others. A Swans graceful entering into your life signals a time of altered states of awareness and the development of intuitive abilities, for those with this medicine have the inherent ability to see the future, and to accept the healing and change that is starting in their lives. Accept this and it will help you go with the flow. Listen to your inner knowledge and intuitions and Swan will work through you. The Swan's voice teaches the mysteries of song and poetry, for these touch our inner child and also our inner beauty.

Swan gracefully glide through the water leaving hardly a ripple behind. Their natural, effortless beauty reminds us to move gently through the currents of life and not fight against them. Swans do not dive into the water like other birds when feeding. Rather, they skim the water dipping their long necks and heads in and out. Water is linked with the feminine intuition and emotion. By following swans example we learn how to view our emotions without getting trapped by them. Our intuition helps us comprehend our feelings and the swan helps us process them.

Swans mate for life. When choosing a mate mutual bill dipping or head-to-head posturing are involved. They are dedicated partners. Us humans often make commitments we can’t keep. By following swans lead we will begin to respect what we have chosen and to follow things through. Honouring our commitments increase personal integrity.

Swans are VERY fast fliers, they fly in V formations at great heights during migration. Their wings beat slowly but steadily, lending them the endurance required reach their destination without tiring. If this is your power animal you have the same ability and should apply the swans movements when pursuing something. The large wings of the swan in the sky gather and store knowledge from Great Spirit. Their white plumage reminds us of the dazzling beauty and innocence found in the purity of Great Spirit, and their long graceful necks act as a bridge between the ordinary and the extra-ordinary. This bridge holds the wisdom for spiritual realisation.

Try Not Just Do

Here is a link to my favorite clip of the Star Wars flicks and reminded me of the weekend we had at Jennies,  which is kind of fitting towards Just Do It.

Who does Yoda remind you of? 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y2FLYSqxXsM

How to Make Jennie's Thai Coconut Vegetable Soup

I start most of my soups by making a broth ahead of time. I will tell you the porportions I use, roughly, and it always seems to turn into a giant pot.... so you can modify amounts if you need too.

The Broth:

2 fresh turkey necks

large pot of water, bring to boil

Skim off foam.

Reduce heat and simmer for several hours with lid on. Add any veggie trimmings lying around.

When meat is literally falling off the bones, strain it and put broth in fridge over night. Next day, skim off any fat off the top.

Soup:

chopped 1 sweet onion and saute til soft

add

1 -2 sticks of celery

1/2 red sweet pepper

saute more

Then add chopped

 1 potatoe

2 sweet potatoes(or yam)

1/2 butternut squash(or any squash like that)

2 carrots

1/2 cauliflower

stir around abit and add the broth til it covers all the veggies 

Add small can of chopped tomatoes (or fresh if you got extra lying around)

Simmer til potatoes are getting soft and then add some frozen veggies of your choice, corn, peas and green beans.

Then add one container of the "Helper Soup" bought at Costco: Happy Planets Thai Coconut Soup

Bring to boil, stir often. Add salt and pepper to taste.

Serve!

Happy cooking,

Just Do It !!!

Question to myself:   if I am not willing to take action on my awareness, but deliberately return to old patterns,  then I have to wonder why I continue to pursue this "spiritual exploration? I might as well fold up my tent and leave camp.  If I don't act on awareness, then I continue in the mode of "sincere pretending" to myself. I see the strength of discipline as a necessary piece to bring my awareness to some form of fruition. I feel I can somehow side step that piece, as if realization comes up for the sake of it, and takes care of everything, without effort. I feel discipline is the piece I need to wake up within myself. Otherwise, I am only half awake and half listening. On some level, I must still believe that I somehow can't make the shifts. I guess in the end, the motto of "just do it" can be a great antidote to the mental miasma, even if in the moment it makes me feel uncomfortable, annoyed, angry, or whatever....

Red Pill, Blue Pill reference

 Here's a Youtube for your our enjoyment.....
Scene from the Matrix

We Are All Connected

Here is an awesome video:
Symphony of Science

I love how the scientist is rockin' out on the Djembe!

TURKEY VULTURE

I felt blessed when the Turkey Vulture flew over our circle the morning we gathered by the ocean to start our special day. I looked this up on the net and thought it was beautiful. .....

The Cherokee know the Vulture as 'Peace Eagle', for the Turkey Vulture Kills Nothing. The scientific latin name for vulture is Catharsis Aura ~ Golden Purifier. The job the vulture performs is a sacred service for all animal life forms. The toxins, pathogens and diseases that are possible as animals decompose and rot is substantial. The vulture was designed to clean this up. And with this purpose it accomplishes the Creators will with honor and no complaints.
The vulture does what needs to be done. It cleans up, protects, and is connected to the water as its protector. To some it is ugly, but upon the invisible air it rides the current defying gravity with beauty and grace. It teaches us that nasty jobs of service that need to get done are rewarded with great gifts.
The vulture is often looked down upon. However, the vulture in fact, looks down on you. The vulture sees all and knows what is done to the Earthly Mother
The vulture mates for life, and lives in community upon a communal roost each night. This roost location varies each night. Each vulture 'clan' cleaning the territory as it sees fit. With communication that is transacted from many miles away, a vulture can see the flight patterns of its brethren, with eyesight ten times better than our own (not verified). A clan chieftan sends a signal that is relayed each evening, and a roost is selected. These roosts can be constant for many years and even generations. A system of roosts helps to ensure that the land is purified systematically. The roost is usually on a ridge that overlooks a river, and is normally in a spot that receives the last of the days sun, as well the first at sunrise. Each morning, the vulture clan turns to face the sacred sun. Warming the feathers together in union before heading to work.
Eye contact with a vulture is easy. Just look at them and they see you.

Dreaming

I am still buzzing from our time together in that mystical landscape on Galiano.  I awoke this morning realizing how I need to  "walk the talk" from a deeper level.  I appreciated Lennie's  comment that if discomfort appears, to see it as a portal of opportunity instead of pulling back in resistence. I think resistence is a habit I didn't realize has such a pull on me. I got this sense that resistence prevents intimacy from deepening, and it all seems to loop back to perceptions of fear I still hold. Guess I need to keep stalking!! Under the gaze of the full moon, I felt her gentle energy pulling and tugging at me ...waiting  patiently for the current to shift.

DREAMS FROM THE VISION QUEST

I am so grateful for the amazing creations we are doing
Our vision quest on Galiano was very gentle and soothing.  I spent a lot of time sleeping and dreaming. 
One dream in particular, I woke from and thought, "I should try and remember this and figure out what it means". 
Wisdom said, "No, just recall the feeling that this brings up for you.
The feeling was COMPLETION,  and SATISFACTION that something was completed.
Another dream was about ANGER  and the need to define a BOUNDARY.
Yet another dream involved a Mynah bird and the feeling was of DELIGHT and PLAY.

Things I Promised Myself.....

"That I Would Be Good"

that I would be good even if I did nothing
that I would be good even if I got the thumbs down
that I would be good if I got and stayed sick
that I would be good even if I gained ten pounds

that I would be fine even if I went bankrupt
that I would be good if I lost my hair and my youth
that I would be great if I was no longer queen
that I would be grand if I was not all knowing

that I would be loved even when I numb myself
that I would be good even when I am overwhelmed
that I would be loved even when I was fuming
that I would be good even if I was clingy

that I would be good even if I lost sanity
that I would be good
whether with or without you 


That I Would be Good by Alanis Morrisette

At Ease with My Unfoldment

With the vision quest coming up.....I have been contemplating what I would like to focus on. What has come up for me, is to further nurture the sentiment of "Being at Ease with my Unfoldment"
Right away I am acknowledging that I am not unfolded....
It is a process that goes on forever. My wisdom tells me that there is no "getting there".
It would make sense to become at ease with that.

Without my impatience to be enlightened, to be completely aware of all of who and what I am All the time....
without my imagination/expectation of what that would look like for me.....
Then what? Can I let that go?

Voices in My Head

Still struggling with those voices in my head. Or are they voices from the heart? Sometimes I can't tell if they source from the ego,  or from the heart.  The dilemna continues, and the more I try to find the voice of my heart, those quiet more internal spaces seem more  illusive.  But when I start feeling those nagging doubts, low grade energy,  a sense of fatigue and defeat, I think my ego is at work.  It makes decision making problematic and to find the path. But I guess it is all part of the work. Stalking sometimes seems to help,. but sometimes takes you to some funny and unexpected places.

Under our masks we are all Stars

I want to share with all of you this music video.
Imagine that you are singing this to yourself if you are a little down.....
(My massage therapist/belly dance teacher, Taiya,  is in this video....she is doing the belly dance sequences.)
STAR

Cigarettes and Jump Rope

Well, I am sure that you all know who's writing this post. Yup, That time has come...I have set myself up and life has now made the choice for me....No More Smoking.  So here I go....it may be hard and even so...So What if it is? And if and when those hard moments come I just may break into dance... "Stomp my feet so hard and make it pound raise the bottom to the top and never come down, stomp my feet spin around clap my hands to the rhythm and slip on down"  And say to myself....(what was once said to me by a special little person).....Easy Cowboy, just breathe!

The kids loved the song too...

http://youtu.be/g7eyqCQYBGY

"No more hidin in the old day" with smoking.

To Make You Feel My Love

A song I dedicate to myself....gently feeling my love.  Thank you all for a truly wonderful and magical weekend.  The video reminds me of Ucluelet....and then at the end....there we ALL are flying~

http://youtu.be/ZzmTFBPMhk8

I surrender!

It was quite the gathering last weekend.  I went in physically, not "well" mindful that it could be energy working itself through, calling on me to surrender to the process as I must. I believe that as individuals we were called upon to "see" ourselves in yet a deeper way.  Standing in front of the group, and really "ourselves"  we were called to see the truth and to speak it as best we could.  There was only compassion reflected back to us!   As a group we shifted.  The beautiful nurturing energy of the Terrace Beach Resort lent itself to our process.  Then, the wild of the open waters, the rain and wind at Long Beach.  All of us,  in spite ourselves could not resist!  What had to shift did.  And for me, I am acutely aware of the ruthless nature of LOVE!  It is not this necessarily this fluffy feel good feeling.  Intense, powerful, cutting through.. I surrender.

 

Journey to Ucluelet April 8/2011

Cathedral Grove April 8/2011

Ucluelet Terrace Beach, clear night pictures with lots of orbs April 8/2011

Ucluelet Stalking April 8.9/2011

Long Beach Journey April 9/2011